During this Covid-19 pandemic, and the resulting suspension of travel, there hasn’t been much for a travel professional to write about. As a result, I’ve been spending the past few weeks exploring the new and old, including dusty, weathered photo albums from a lifetime ago. One particular photo I unearthed was that of a young girl standing beside a sharp looking antique car some 50+ years ago, which brought my mind back to the long, lost art of pen pal correspondence.
As a shy teenage girl back in the late 60’s, middle school (or junior high, as it was known in those days), could be downright brutal. Making friends and trying to fit in was a challenge for someone who didn’t say much. To deal with the anxiety and awkwardness of adolescence, I often took out my pen and paper and wrote letters to people around the world. Whatever I found difficult to verbalize I had no trouble pouring out on paper. Our family didn’t travel, so my early view of exotic destinations was through corresponding with people my own age in far away places. I’m not sure where I found the names and addresses of my pen pals, but it was probably from an ad in the back of Tiger Beat or some other teenybopper magazine on the rack at the corner drugstore. Oftentimes, the back and forth banter would fizzle after a few letters, but I still enjoyed the conversation while it lasted. I don’t even remember the names or specifics of the people I wrote to. Except for one: Karen, from Ohio.
My pen pal correspondence with Karen lasted the longest. By long, I mean at least a whole semester or maybe even a full school year. She wasn’t from Asia or Europe like some of my other pals, but lived in the states. This was a good thing - no special air mail stationery required, and no pricey stamp, making the whole letter writing process easier. I remember a few specific details of what she wrote - having an older brother, liking Jon Sebastian songs, and what it was like to live in her part of the country, which might as well have been the moon to this sheltered teen. On the contrary, I can’t remember any of the dribble I wrote in return, but it was probably the typical things a young girl would write about - friends, music, TV, pets, school and boy crushes. I may have even embellished a bit, to make my simple life sound more glamorous than it actually was.
There was no Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat in those days. No instant messaging, no email, no texting. Conversation wasn’t instant. It took time and patience. I couldn’t wait to run to the store and buy a brand new box of pretty stationery and start writing, address the envelope, seal it, attach a postage stamp, and drop it in the mailbox. Then came the waiting-for-a-reply part. I would often try writing to several people at the same time so I would have a steady stream of mail, but it didn’t always work out. Getting the family’s mail from the post office box was exciting when I was 13. I’d toss aside the bills and junk mail, take my letter and off to my room I’d go read. Sometimes there would be a photo, as this one of Karen and the antique car.
Years later, while I was training to become a travel agent and succumbing to social media to gain an audience, I was thinking about my pen pal days and decided to look up Karen on Facebook. I confess that I felt like a stalker, but what better way to look up a person who played a large part in my adolescence. I remembered her last name because it was a tough one to spell, but since I figured she’d have different married name, I didn’t expect to find her without some digging. Lo and behold, a face and name came up on the first try, and her image and profile matched everything I remember. She’d moved from her hometown, of course, and gotten a career, but it was her nonetheless. At the risk of being mistaken for a perv or a crazy woman, I messaged her and waited for a reply, praying she didn’t report me for trolling. It wasn’t long, though, before she returned my message, seeming genuinely happy that I reached out. Did she actually remember me and the pen pal correspondence? Probably not, but it was fun to reconnect just the same. We still follow each other, and it tickles me that she’ll sometimes be the first to “like” or reply to one of my posts.
A few weeks into the pandemic I instant-messaged Karen the photo I had found, hoping she would get a kick out of it (and also to prove that I wasn’t some looney stalker!). She was thrilled and confirmed that was indeed her face in the photo posing with the antique car that a neighbor was proudly showing off.
I wished I had saved the letters I wrote, but like most remnants of my childhood, they were most likely tossed when I got married and moved away. I like to think those letters got me through the trials and tribulations of adolescence or at least eventually lead me to blogging about my travels. This does make me wonder how electronic pen-pal correspondence would fare in today's fast-paced, instant-gratification world. Will the pals made and the confidences shared through Facebook, E-mail or Instant Message be remembered 50 years from now? If I had corresponded with Karen by electronic means 50 years ago, would I have remembered her today? It's something to think about.
And Karen's career nowadays, you might ask? A freelance writer, of course!
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